Have you ever noticed how casually we toss around the word “sorry”? It seems to slip into our conversations so effortlessly that its true meaning is slowly fading away.
Just yesterday, I went to the bathroom and when I was walking out someone was walking in, and instead of saying “excuse me”, we both said, “oops, sorry”, and went our separate ways. I didn’t really think anything of that interaction because it is very normal, until I was at work later that day and caught myself saying sorry countless times. Usually, there was no reason for me to be sorry, but it has been so normalized that it has become a reflex.
I feel that as a society we are not even using the word correctly. When “sorry” is tossed around casually, it can lead to misunderstandings about accountability and sincerity. It makes me wonder if we’re missing opportunities to engage more deeply with each other, to acknowledge our mistakes, and to foster a sense of true understanding.
For many people, it can be a habit or a way to express politeness. Sometimes people say “sorry” to avoid some kind of conflict or to show empathy even when they are not at fault. In the article “How to stop saying sorry too much”, Emma McAdam discusses that some people may apologize excessively because they want to be liked and feel the need to avoid upsetting others. Also, she highlights the fact that apologizing too much doesn’t happen as much at home, but it is really common at work. When you are at work and make a suggestion, do you preface it with an array of apologies to avoid coming off bossy or presumptuous?
Shockingly, according to a recent study, gender also plays a role, as women will often say sorry more frequently than men. Men apologize less frequently than women because they have a higher threshold for what constitutes offensive behavior. I feel that men are generally less apologetic, and most times I think that they don’t worry as much that what they said came off wrong.
Many men appear less concerned about whether their words might be taken the wrong way, while women tend to overthink social interactions, striving to present their best selves. Women have tendencies to overthink every minute detail of life which leads them to feel the need to say sorry at times when it is not necessary. Understanding these dynamics can help create healthier communication styles for everyone.
In life, it is healthy to be assertive, and while it is also healthy to know your affect on others, it’s important to remind yourself that your opinions are just as valid as anyone else’s. Try to find the reason behind what stimulates you to frequently apologize. Most have urges to say sorry, when, in fact, it just isn’t necessary.
Try to take a step back, and rather than saying sorry, perhaps say excuse me. It is crucial to not only give respect to everyone, but remind yourself that you are worthy and deserving of respect and should not be ashamed to speak your mind. So, let’s embrace our worth and communicate with intention, ensuring that our words reflect both our respect for others and our belief in ourselves.
