Many teens and adults have a fear of being single, and while being in a relationship is more preferable by a majority of the population, many struggle to be content by themselves. Finding happiness while being single is very important and needs to be more of a focal point for teens and young adults.
As a (former) high school senior, many of my friends and myself have been in a relationship at one point or another, but throughout the years I’ve noticed a large number of people who put a lot of pressure on themselves to date or struggle when not in a relationship. Some ways these teens and young adults can become happy without dating is by loving and focusing on themselves, embracing being single, and prioritizing other relationships.
Creating a good relationship with yourself and living your life to the fullest regardless of your relationship status will help improve your mental well being. The article How To Actually Be Happy Being Single, According To Psychologists by Sarah Regan gives good advice on how to enjoy life while not being in a relationship, such as by prioritizing connections. These connections could be either familial or platonic.
The importance of building a bond with the people around you is that without these connections feelings of disconnection and sadness are common. We know that isolation correlates with loneliness, anxiety and depression, so spending a little extra time with friends and loved ones can benefit you.
Prioritizing yourself and picking up new hobbies or retrying old ones are two other amazing things you can do to create happiness whether you’re in a relationship or not. Prioritizing yourself can be: working out, eating healthy, getting on a regular sleep schedule, creating new goals, and fixing or bettering your mindset. In many cases people are “told that finding a partner will make us happy, but the real challenge in gaining any long-term happiness is to have a good, kind and healthy relationship with yourself. That’s why it’s important to make a bunch of commitments to you.”
Happiness doesn’t have to come from anyone but yourself. One other way that you can prioritize yourself is by focusing on hobbies. Putting yourself out there and branching out of your comfort zone can help create and strengthen your relationships and mind.
Another thing to prioritize is living in the moment. C. De Lima talked about how letting go of the past will only help you appreciate the present more. In the article, Lima brings up valuable points about how important it is to not rush through life or live in the past.
While being single is something no one should be ashamed about, common problems people without a relationship face is shaming and self judgement. Self criticism can be hard to stop but an important thing to keep in mind if you or someone you know feels ashamed or self conscious about being single is that being in a relationship is actually becoming less common, especially in adults.
According to the University of Colorado Boulder about 50% of U.S. adults in September of 2024 were single and 28% of them lived alone. Clearly due to UC Boulder’s findings it is extremely common for people of all ages to be single, but unfortunately that still won’t prevent people from being judged or shamed based on their relationship status.
The BBC reported that “While people have been steadily re-evaluating these social norms for decades, recent research suggests single shaming is still going strong. Data from a survey by dating service Match, seen by BBC Worklife, shows 52% of 1,000 single UK adults reported experiencing single shaming.” Out of these 1,000 single UK adults, over half of these people reported to be happy or content with their relationship status despite the shaming. The stigma around being single is very hard to shake, and while society may never fully eliminate it, it is important to not let comments or criticism affect how you feel about yourself due to your relationship status.
While you can’t control being single, you can control how you act and treat yourself while not in a relationship. Remember to focus more on yourself than other people and possible prospects, as well as keeping in mind that people’s opinion of you based on your relationship status is nothing to dwell over. You and your relationship with yourself is the main relationship that matters.
