All my life, I feel like I’ve constantly tried to fit in with the standards of everyone else around me. Growing up I thought this behavior was completely normal because everyone did it. But as I get older I have started to question why we all care so much what others think. In the end, truly we are all humans living completely different lives. So why does what others think matter?
I grew up in a very small town in Massachusetts, and I have spent the last 12 years of my life with the same 100 people I started with in kindergarten. I have felt the constant need to fit in a certain mold, whether it was how I dressed myself, the hobbies I played, or even the opinions I believed in.
Some could argue that this gave me a strong sense of community, and I could agree to that. But more importantly it made me lose track of who I truly was. Over time, I have realized that breaking out of this mold was essential for my personal growth.
As time goes by I have noticed that this issue is world wide and does not seem to be slowing down. The article, Sorry, Not Sorry: How to Stop Caring About What People Think | Ellevate, highlights that social media puts excessive care about appearances. People all over the world are constantly posting their lives, their workout routines, their families, or even their occupations. This subconsciously makes everyone compare themselves to not only everyone around them, but all around the world online. Being consumed by how many likes or comments you receive on an Instagram post is not a healthy way to live life by any means.
At the core, the need for constant approval stems from fear, fear of rejection, fear of judgement, and even the possibility of not being “enough.” For centuries, fitting in was essential to thrive in life, but now that individuality is so normalized I still wonder why we are all fighting for constant approval. Growing up, we were conditioned to believe that our worth is tied to how others view us, grades, athletic achievements, or even school popularity. This mindset has completely taken over our lives, causing more stress and anxiety to be perfect.
In the article Breaking the Worry Trap: How to Stop Caring About What Others Think, the author highlights some key ways to break away from the trap of the constant need of pleasing others. Breaking free from this mold is not something that just happens over night, and for most it starts by simply focusing on your own goals and values. Prioritizing things in life that you truly are interested in rather than just doing something everyone else is doing is something that can be hard, but so beneficial.
Next time you are faced with a decision, and you consider what others will think, think to yourself if their opinions really matter more than mine. Go with your gut and do what you love, because in the long run if you live your life constantly in everyone else’s shadow you will be miserable. In reality do their opinions really matter?
Chances are they do not, and you will soon realize how refreshing it is to live life the way you want, with no second thoughts about it.
