You’re you – not anyone else. You need to appreciate all that you offer and learn to tune out the voice in your head constantly considering what people think of you.
Everyone says “don’t compare yourself to others”, but we all know it’s not that simple. Sometimes it is inevitable that you will notice what others wear or how they look and wish you looked more like them. That does not mean that we are incapable of decreasing the amount we play this compare and contrast game.
Learning to appreciate other people and yourself as equals is super important. If you’re looking at someone else’s success in life such as their grades, athletic progress, job advancement, or money, remind yourself that everyone is on their own path. Life is not a competition. Remember your own strengths, and maybe some are ones that person does not have.
Gradually building confidence is one of the best ways to get to a point where you feel good about yourself again. Whether it be something seemingly silly like repeating positive phrases in the mirror or something more concrete like wearing clothes that you feel comfortable in, every little step helps.
Social media makes the process of removing social comparisons from your life more difficult. Of course you are going to see friends, family, colleagues, or influencers who you wished you looked more like. You might wish your life was as aesthetically pleasing and successful as theirs appears. You might think that you would appreciate yourself more if you were them, that your life would be so much happier.
This is not true, though. Everyone has their own insecurities and struggles. It’s impossible to be 100% self confident. Remember that most people on social media only post the very best.
Surround yourself with positive people who lift you up. These are people who you know would support you when going through a difficult time, and make sure you would do the same for them. The friends you share your time with influence your thoughts and feelings toward yourself and others. Friends with positive attitudes who do not constantly tear others down will allow you to feel free to be yourself.
A friendship shouldn’t be one-sided. Just because you would support someone in their rough patch does not mean they would do the same for you.
Taking care of your body can also help with confidence. When you eat healthy food – meaning nutrient rich foods, proteins, healthy fats, etc – there is little room for feeling guilty. When you put good food into your body, you know you are honestly trying to be your best.
Enjoy yourself and have sweets when you want to, but it’s important that you don’t go overboard to the point where it’s detrimental to your mental health.
Much of caring about what others think comes from insecurity around body image. Start with positive self talk to rewire your brain. A negative mindset only hinders your ability to accomplish your goals. The voice in your head will tell you you’re incapable of doing something or that you shouldn’t even try. Think optimistically to help get over the doubt and the negatives. People really do not care what you look like or whether you’re a size 2 or 8 or 18. It doesn’t affect them. It’s not always easy, but you have to get over you.
Prioritizing sleep and exercise can help with this. When you simply get 9-10,000 steps a day, you’re going to feel better about yourself knowing that you have an active lifestyle.
For exercise, balance forms that you enjoy with ones you have to push yourself harder to complete. Quality sleep can be very helpful, too. It’s linked to optimism, and optimism leads to health success.
Finally, trust yourself. Being genuine and not fake is going to make people like you. People are more drawn to others who know who they are versus people who say fake things or make up stories just to be accepted or funny in a group situation.
If you truly want to stop caring about what others think of you, work on yourself every day. Little by little, you’ll gain confidence. No one is ever going to reach a point where they never care what others think, but you can definitely worry about it less the more you work on it.
